A Guest Post from The Person Who was Standing Behind Me at the New Delhi Airport Last Month

Hi, how are you? Waiting in line? It’s sure been a long one: snaking around the little barriers three or four times, and even spilling out beyond the designated area. I wonder what we could do to speed this process up? How about if I were standing right behind you?

Yes, I think this is making it go faster. Those airline people sure are taking their time. Looks like there’s some process to do with reservations, passports, and baggage. We should all do our part by standing as close together as we possibly can. That’ll speed this up.

So, you travel much? I guess you must have some international flying experience, inasmuch as you’re neither an Indian nor flying to a location in India. So I’m actually a little surprised that you’re not pressed in as close as possible to the person standing in front of you. How is it you don’t know this technique? Seriously, don’t you want that little head start when it’s your turn to approach the desk?

Airport check-ins are a tricky thing, and it’s clear that the airlines have some sort of responsibility for ensuring that they don’t fly people to places they won’t be allowed to enter. They must have to check the entry and exit visa in every passport. And there’s probably some kind of check with a terrorist database too. That all takes a certain amount of time, and I for certainly wouldn’t want to contribute to the delay by leaving so much as a centimeter between me and you. In fact, probably the easiest thing is if I keep my luggage cart pressed up against your calves. Bump. Isn’t that nice and snug?

Oh, did we all just move up a half-step? Let me get that luggage cart right up against the back of your calves again. Bump.

Were you taking another step forward or just shifting your weight because you’ve been standing in line for about an hour now? No problem, I’ll just get the luggage cart back in place. Bump.

Thanks, you’re being great about this. I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve missed a flight because I wasn’t in actual physical contact with the person ahead of me in line.